I am so totally not a drinker, but I got this from Charlene Sands and it cracked me up. Reminds me of Lucy and her VitaMeataVegamin commercial.
Jose Cuervo Christmas Cookies
1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila
Sample the Cuervo to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Cuervo again, to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.
Turn on the electric mixer... Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point it's best to make sure the Cuervo is still OK, try another cup.....just in case.
Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit, Pick the fruit off the floor..
Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity.
Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Check the Jose Cuervo. Now shift the lemon juice and strain. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven.
Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Cose Juervo and make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.
Cherry Mistmas!
Reminds me of a few occasions in my youth when I did quaff a few. I enjoyed the chuckle.
ReplyDeleteJust recalled the true story of a Millard friend making cookies for our exchange and Christmas program. She sampled the rum ball cookie dough until she realized the tipsy impact on her 8-month pregnant body. Her name and denomination will remain our secret! But we laugh about it every reunion and the daughter she bore is a healthy 26.
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