Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Gotta love 'em

Any young moms out there who know someone who can just do it all? I remember seeing young wives and mothers who had well-behaved children, cooked everyday, had clean homes, served on the PTA board, volunteered at church and always looked good - makeup, hair, the works! My husband would wonder why he didn't have a pair of clean socks, and I'd have just cleaned up the last mess and spotted another one, with no time to catch a breath or comb my hair in between.

It's the same way in the writing community. There are writers who seem to have it all pulled together. They publish three books a year, have families, take vacations, serve on the local or national board, and always have time to do you a favor and volunteer for a task you wouldn't dream of taking on.

And these people are just so darned nice and genuine, you just can't hate them! Are they better organized? I know they don't have more time in their days. Sleep less? Get more help from their families? Maybe they're really neurotic basket cases. People pleasers who try to do it all at the risk of something we don't know about. Doesn't look like it, does it?

If this is you, please tell the rest of the world one of two things:
1 - your secret
2 - you're not as pulled together as it would seem


  1. Personally I think they make a pact with the devil.

    I'm always amazed by readers who can zip through several books a week - while raising kids, a husband and working in and/or out of the home.

    Hmmm, maybe they've figured out a way to function without sleep?

  2. Well, I have to admit---I'd guess that many people I know think I have it all together. What a laugh. You know the ROFL (Rolling on Floor Laughing)?? That's how I see "put together" and "me" in the same sentence. Just because my kids behave (mostly) in public doesn't mean they are angels at home. Sometimes it does, but sometimes there are tantrums and name calling and ugliness.

    I mean, we look good on the outside. I volunteer for many things (including PTA), but you can't wade in the junk in the basement. I often think a successful day is meeting the deadlines of things that HAVE to be done and getting microwave dinners on the table---ok, on laps on the couch---we can't see the table for the clutter.

    The best thing I ever learned was from a dear friend who had children when I didn't. She always told me to stop the comparison game. Stop comparing your children to other children; your home to another's home; yourself to someone else, etc. She told me a comparison is only meant to put one person down. I've tried to take that to heart.

    Let's all accept the fact that we excel at some things and stink at others. Instead of comparing yourself to the seemingly "all together" woman, get to know her. I've found some very hurting people who hide behind a "put together" mask.

    Those who know me well accept the fact that if they drop by unexpectedly, they will probably be kicking toys out of the way to make it to my couch. They love me anyway---and they don't let on that I'm not as together as I look in public. God bless them!

  3. When I was younger, I HATED to sleep. I thought it was a total waste of time. I seem to require a little more now, however.

    I think I probably looked pulled together. I've been told I do. My house is clean, but that's because I'm nutty about it. I can't walk past anything without staightening it or picking it up. I've even straightened pictures on other people's walls when they weren't looking.

    But my car? LOOK OUT! I just cleaned out wrappers and napkins and papers and Sponge Bob cookie chunks and french fry nubs and transformer instructions and map directions and Sunday School papers...well, you get the picture. But that was only because I was picking up a friend and didn't want to lose her.

    And my desk top is usually a fright. I clean it in between projects, but when I'm at work, it piles right back up. I always have dozens of post-its regarding things I have to do stuck all over. Extra glasses, coffee cups--because I go downstairs and don't have my cup so I get another one. Well, I have an entire blog about my desk in the archives.

    Love me, love my car.