I've been shopping to selectively spend some of my Christmas money. Just before Christmas I bought myself an Alphasmart. It's a lightweight little keyboard with a Word processor that I can carry anywhere. It holds eight files and plenty of text, so I can work on various projects. Once you've written your text, you simply download it via a USB connection, and it flows right into your open text document on your PC. I love it! You can check them out at alphasmart.com. They still have the 3000 on sale this month. It's a steal, actually!
What I needed was the perfect bag to store and carry my Alphie in, and I found one yesterday. A stylish leather bag that looks like a purse, and it has pockets for notebooks or research, the cord, a phone, etc..
Also bought myself a bracelet. Okay, one teeny weeny piece of jewelry for all of Christmas wasn't bad at all. And...please hold your laughter...the new Ricky Nelson Greatest Hits CD. I listened all afternoon today and was swept back to my youth by that seductive voice. "Everlovin' your my one desire, Everlovin' you set my heart afire. Everlovin' I'll be ever lovin' you."
I'll be watching for the coat sales next. And maybe one more teeny weeny piece of jewelry....
Friday, December 30, 2005
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
Romantic Times Reviewers Choice Award Nominees
Logged on today to find a dozen congratulations for an RT nomination!
AMERICAN-SET HISTORICAL ROMANCE
HER BODYGUARD Geralyn Dawson HQN (Jun)
TO TEMPT A TEXAN Georgina Gentry Zebra (Feb)
MCKETTRICK'S CHOICE Linda Lael Miller HQN (Jun)
PRAIRIE WIFE Cheryl St. John Harlequin (Feb)
I always felt this book was special -- I'm glad they thought so, too!
http://romantictimes.com/
You can click on Reviewer's Choice Awards in the Book News box if you want to see all the nominees in all the categories. I like to read as many of the books in the categories as I can.
Think I'll celebrate by taking down the Christmas tree and vacuuming. Ah, the exotic life of a romance writer.
AMERICAN-SET HISTORICAL ROMANCE
HER BODYGUARD Geralyn Dawson HQN (Jun)
TO TEMPT A TEXAN Georgina Gentry Zebra (Feb)
MCKETTRICK'S CHOICE Linda Lael Miller HQN (Jun)
PRAIRIE WIFE Cheryl St. John Harlequin (Feb)
I always felt this book was special -- I'm glad they thought so, too!
http://romantictimes.com/
You can click on Reviewer's Choice Awards in the Book News box if you want to see all the nominees in all the categories. I like to read as many of the books in the categories as I can.
Think I'll celebrate by taking down the Christmas tree and vacuuming. Ah, the exotic life of a romance writer.
Monday, December 26, 2005
So what did you get for Christmas?
On Christmas Eve Day as I was preparing for the family to descend the next day, I kept finding cash envelopes around the house: on the coffee maker, taped to the back of a child, in my make-up drawer, beside my computer! My husband gave me cash for Christmas! LOL I'm loving it, and planning what I'll buy myself. (My wish list is pretty intimidating.) Good job, Honey! Your gift definitely doesn't have an electrical cord!
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Announcing W.I.C.O.E. Seminar For Men
Women In Charge Of Everything is proud to announce the opening of its EVENING CLASSES FOR MEN!
OPEN TO MEN ONLY Note: due to the complexity and level of difficulty, each course will accept a maximum of eight participants
The course covers two days, and topics covered in this course include:
DAY ONE
HOW TO FILL ICE CUBE TRAYS Step by step guide with slide presentation
TOILET ROLLS -- DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS? Roundtable discussion
DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LAUNDRY BASKET &FLOOR Practicing with hamper (Pictures and graphics)
DISHES &SILVERWARE; DO THEY LEVITATE/FLY TO KITCHEN SINK OR DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES? Debate among a panel of experts.
REMOTE CONTROL Losing the remote control - Help line and support groups
LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS Starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming - Open forum
DAY TWO
EMPTY MILK CARTONS; DO THEY BELONG IN THE FRIDGE OR THE BIN? Group discussion and role play
HEALTH WATCH; BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH PowerPoint presentation
REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST Real life testimonial from the one man who did
IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS? Driving simulation
LIVING WITH ADULTS; BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR PARTNER Online class and role playing
HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques
REMEMBERING IMPORTANT DATES &CALLING WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE Bring your calendar or PDA to class
GETTING OVER IT; LEARNING HOW TO LIVE WITH BEING WRONG ALL THE TIME Individual counselors available
OPEN TO MEN ONLY Note: due to the complexity and level of difficulty, each course will accept a maximum of eight participants
The course covers two days, and topics covered in this course include:
DAY ONE
HOW TO FILL ICE CUBE TRAYS Step by step guide with slide presentation
TOILET ROLLS -- DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS? Roundtable discussion
DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LAUNDRY BASKET &FLOOR Practicing with hamper (Pictures and graphics)
DISHES &SILVERWARE; DO THEY LEVITATE/FLY TO KITCHEN SINK OR DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES? Debate among a panel of experts.
REMOTE CONTROL Losing the remote control - Help line and support groups
LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS Starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming - Open forum
DAY TWO
EMPTY MILK CARTONS; DO THEY BELONG IN THE FRIDGE OR THE BIN? Group discussion and role play
HEALTH WATCH; BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH PowerPoint presentation
REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST Real life testimonial from the one man who did
IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS? Driving simulation
LIVING WITH ADULTS; BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR PARTNER Online class and role playing
HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques
REMEMBERING IMPORTANT DATES &CALLING WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE Bring your calendar or PDA to class
GETTING OVER IT; LEARNING HOW TO LIVE WITH BEING WRONG ALL THE TIME Individual counselors available
Saturday, December 17, 2005
Sue's Scones
I made these for my ladies Christmas Tea, which was today, and they were the hit of the tea party!
2 c all purpose flour, sifted
1 large egg
1/3 c granulate sugar
1 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
2 tsp baking powder
6 oz white chocolate chips
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 c craisins
1/4 c unsalted butter, chilled
1/2 c finely chopped dried apricots
3/4 c heavy whipping cream
1 c coarsely broken walnuts, optional
Preheat oven to 375 degrees.
In a large bowl, stir together the flour, sugar, baking powder and salt. Cut the butter into 1/2 inch cubes and distribute them over the flour mixture. With a pastry blender cut in the butter until the mixture resembles coarse crumbs. In a small bowl, stir together the cream, egg, and vanila. Add the cream mixture to the flour mixture and knead until combined. Knead in the white chocolate, walnuts, and fruit.
With lightly floured hands, pat the dough out into a 9 inch diameter circle in the center of an ungreased baking sheet. With a serrated knife, cut circle into wedges. If you double the recipe, spread the dough out in the pan and cut into squares.
Bake for 15 to 20 minutes, or until the top is lightly browned.
Remove the baking sheet to a wire rack and cool for 5 minutes. Using a spatula, transfer the scones to the wire rack to cool. Recut into wedges if necessary.
Serve warm or cool completely and store in an airtight container.
They make ahead and freeze beautifully!
2 c all purpose flour, sifted
1 large egg
1/3 c granulate sugar
1 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
2 tsp baking powder
6 oz white chocolate chips
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 c craisins
1/4 c unsalted butter, chilled
1/2 c finely chopped dried apricots
3/4 c heavy whipping cream
1 c coarsely broken walnuts, optional
Preheat oven to 375 degrees.
In a large bowl, stir together the flour, sugar, baking powder and salt. Cut the butter into 1/2 inch cubes and distribute them over the flour mixture. With a pastry blender cut in the butter until the mixture resembles coarse crumbs. In a small bowl, stir together the cream, egg, and vanila. Add the cream mixture to the flour mixture and knead until combined. Knead in the white chocolate, walnuts, and fruit.
With lightly floured hands, pat the dough out into a 9 inch diameter circle in the center of an ungreased baking sheet. With a serrated knife, cut circle into wedges. If you double the recipe, spread the dough out in the pan and cut into squares.
Bake for 15 to 20 minutes, or until the top is lightly browned.
Remove the baking sheet to a wire rack and cool for 5 minutes. Using a spatula, transfer the scones to the wire rack to cool. Recut into wedges if necessary.
Serve warm or cool completely and store in an airtight container.
They make ahead and freeze beautifully!
Friday, December 16, 2005
Things To Ponder
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?
Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? <>
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.
Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? <>
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.
Thursday, December 01, 2005
Bob's Chili
Got this recipe from my cousin. It's chili weather!
1 lb. ground beef
1 pkg. (1.25 oz) McCormick chili seasoning
1 15 oz can diced tomatoes
1 15 oz can mexican flavored diced tomatoes
1 15 oz can chili beans
1 15 oz can dark red kidney beans, drained & rinsed
1 4.5 oz can chopped green chilies, drained
1 16 oz jar banana pepper rings, drained & chopped
1 16 oz jar Pace Mild Pacante Sauce
Brown meat; season with salt & pepper to taste. Drain meat, add chili seasoning and simmer a few minutes. Add pacante sauce (set jar aside) and simmer a few minutes.
Add tomatoes, beans, green chilies and pepper rings. Add water to empty pacante sauce jar (about 1/2 cup); add to chili until pan is full or chili has enough moisture.
Cover and simmer about 30 minutes.
May also use hot chili seasoning and/or Medium pacante sauce if you dare.
1 lb. ground beef
1 pkg. (1.25 oz) McCormick chili seasoning
1 15 oz can diced tomatoes
1 15 oz can mexican flavored diced tomatoes
1 15 oz can chili beans
1 15 oz can dark red kidney beans, drained & rinsed
1 4.5 oz can chopped green chilies, drained
1 16 oz jar banana pepper rings, drained & chopped
1 16 oz jar Pace Mild Pacante Sauce
Brown meat; season with salt & pepper to taste. Drain meat, add chili seasoning and simmer a few minutes. Add pacante sauce (set jar aside) and simmer a few minutes.
Add tomatoes, beans, green chilies and pepper rings. Add water to empty pacante sauce jar (about 1/2 cup); add to chili until pan is full or chili has enough moisture.
Cover and simmer about 30 minutes.
May also use hot chili seasoning and/or Medium pacante sauce if you dare.
Monday, November 28, 2005
Thanksgiving Winner!
My family thoroughly enjoyed the lists of things you're thankful for, and on the holiday, they had the tough job of selecting a winner. Their favorite list was Missy W's. Missy, post me with your address and your book will be on its way!
Hope everyone had a wonderful holiday. Can't believe we're on the slide into Christmas now. Don't tell me how many shopping days left. LOL
Hope everyone had a wonderful holiday. Can't believe we're on the slide into Christmas now. Don't tell me how many shopping days left. LOL
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
How many shopping days 'til Christmas?
Buying gifts for men is not nearly as complicated as it is for women.
Follow these rules and you should have no problems.
Rule #1: When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he already has one. I have a friend who owns 17 and he has yet to complain. As a man, you can really never have too many cordless drills. No one knows why.
Rule #2: If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with the word ratchet or socket in it. Men love saying those two words. "Hey George, can I borrow your ratchet?" "OK. By-the-way, are you through with my 3/8-inch socket yet?" Again, no one knows why.
Rule #3: If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his car. A 99- cent ice scraper, a small bottle of deicer or something to hang from his rear view mirror. Men love gifts for their cars. No one knows why.
Rule #4: Do not buy men socks. Do not buy men ties. And never buy men bathrobes. I was told that if God had wanted men to wear bathrobes, he wouldn't have invented Jockey shorts.
Rule #5: You can buy men new remote controls to replace the ones they have worn out. If you have a lot of money buy your man a big-screen TV with the little picture in the corner. Watch him go wild as he flips, and flips, and flips.
Rule #7: Do not buy any man industrial-sized canisters of after shave or deodorant. I'm told they do not stink - they are earthy.
Rule #8: Buy men label makers. Almost as good as cordless drills. Within a couple of weeks there will be labels absolutely everywhere. "Socks. Shorts. Cups. Saucers. Door. Lock. Sink." You get the idea. No one knows why.
Rule #9: Never buy a man anything that says "some assembly required" on the box. It will ruin his day and he will always have parts left over.
Rule #10: Good places to shop for men include Northwest Iron Works, Parr Lumber, Home Depot, John Deere, Valley RV Center, and Les Schwab Tire. NAPA Auto Parts and Sears Clearance Centers are also excellent men's stores. It doesn't matter if he doesn't know what it is. "From NAPA Auto, eh? Must be something I need. Hey! Isn't this a starter for a '68 Ford Fairlane? Wow! Thanks."
Rule #11: Men enjoy danger. That's why they never cook - but they will barbecue. Get him a monster barbecue with a 100-pound propane tank. Tell him the gas line leaks. "Oh the thrill! The challenge! Who wants a hamburger?"
Rule #12: Tickets to a football game are a smart gift. However, he will not appreciate tickets to "A Retrospective of 19th Century Quilts." Everyone knows why.
Rule #13: Men love chainsaws. Never, ever, buy a man you love a chainsaw. If you don't know why - please refer to Rule #8 and what happens when he gets a label-maker.
Rule #14: It's hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminum extension ladder. Never buy a real man a step ladder. It must be an extension ladder. No one knows why.
Rule #15: Rope. Men love rope. It takes them back to our cowboy origins, or at least The Boy Scouts. Nothing says love like a hundred feet of 3/8" manila rope.
Follow these rules and you should have no problems.
Rule #1: When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he already has one. I have a friend who owns 17 and he has yet to complain. As a man, you can really never have too many cordless drills. No one knows why.
Rule #2: If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with the word ratchet or socket in it. Men love saying those two words. "Hey George, can I borrow your ratchet?" "OK. By-the-way, are you through with my 3/8-inch socket yet?" Again, no one knows why.
Rule #3: If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his car. A 99- cent ice scraper, a small bottle of deicer or something to hang from his rear view mirror. Men love gifts for their cars. No one knows why.
Rule #4: Do not buy men socks. Do not buy men ties. And never buy men bathrobes. I was told that if God had wanted men to wear bathrobes, he wouldn't have invented Jockey shorts.
Rule #5: You can buy men new remote controls to replace the ones they have worn out. If you have a lot of money buy your man a big-screen TV with the little picture in the corner. Watch him go wild as he flips, and flips, and flips.
Rule #7: Do not buy any man industrial-sized canisters of after shave or deodorant. I'm told they do not stink - they are earthy.
Rule #8: Buy men label makers. Almost as good as cordless drills. Within a couple of weeks there will be labels absolutely everywhere. "Socks. Shorts. Cups. Saucers. Door. Lock. Sink." You get the idea. No one knows why.
Rule #9: Never buy a man anything that says "some assembly required" on the box. It will ruin his day and he will always have parts left over.
Rule #10: Good places to shop for men include Northwest Iron Works, Parr Lumber, Home Depot, John Deere, Valley RV Center, and Les Schwab Tire. NAPA Auto Parts and Sears Clearance Centers are also excellent men's stores. It doesn't matter if he doesn't know what it is. "From NAPA Auto, eh? Must be something I need. Hey! Isn't this a starter for a '68 Ford Fairlane? Wow! Thanks."
Rule #11: Men enjoy danger. That's why they never cook - but they will barbecue. Get him a monster barbecue with a 100-pound propane tank. Tell him the gas line leaks. "Oh the thrill! The challenge! Who wants a hamburger?"
Rule #12: Tickets to a football game are a smart gift. However, he will not appreciate tickets to "A Retrospective of 19th Century Quilts." Everyone knows why.
Rule #13: Men love chainsaws. Never, ever, buy a man you love a chainsaw. If you don't know why - please refer to Rule #8 and what happens when he gets a label-maker.
Rule #14: It's hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminum extension ladder. Never buy a real man a step ladder. It must be an extension ladder. No one knows why.
Rule #15: Rope. Men love rope. It takes them back to our cowboy origins, or at least The Boy Scouts. Nothing says love like a hundred feet of 3/8" manila rope.
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
Do not use the words "gift" and "major appliance" in the same breath!
What is it with men and appliances? Anything with a cord, they come unglued over. Men are thrilled with power tools under the Christmas tree. Am I right?
Boring.
It's been the rule in our house since the dawn of time that anything that plugs in is NOT A GIFT! I repeat not a gift. If it plugs in, it means work, not pleasure. (There are a few exceptions, in the form of stereos, computers or special requests.) So when my husband mentioned the other day that I might want to start thinking about one big thing we could buy for Christmas, my mind had a happy dance. I know I'm not the only woman in the world who adores gifts. I love presents! Love to give them, love to get them. I sort of felt him out with a couple of suggestions.
Then he told me he'd been thinking along the lines of a stove.
Excuse me? A major appliance is not a Christmas gift. Not in any way, shape or form. Did he change into Tim Allen when I wasn't looking? Do I suddenly look like a woman who'd rather cook than say, wear a diamond bracelet, hmm? What was he thinking?
So tell me: What's your opinion on "presents" that plug in?
Boring.
It's been the rule in our house since the dawn of time that anything that plugs in is NOT A GIFT! I repeat not a gift. If it plugs in, it means work, not pleasure. (There are a few exceptions, in the form of stereos, computers or special requests.) So when my husband mentioned the other day that I might want to start thinking about one big thing we could buy for Christmas, my mind had a happy dance. I know I'm not the only woman in the world who adores gifts. I love presents! Love to give them, love to get them. I sort of felt him out with a couple of suggestions.
Then he told me he'd been thinking along the lines of a stove.
Excuse me? A major appliance is not a Christmas gift. Not in any way, shape or form. Did he change into Tim Allen when I wasn't looking? Do I suddenly look like a woman who'd rather cook than say, wear a diamond bracelet, hmm? What was he thinking?
So tell me: What's your opinion on "presents" that plug in?
Thursday, November 03, 2005
NEW CONTEST FOR NOVEMBER!
I love contests as much as I love lists! LOL
Here's my new one:
Make a list of the top ten things you're thankful for right here in the comment section of this post.
On Thanksgiving Day, I'll have my family read them all and select the one they like the best.
Sound fun? I think so.
What to win, what to win...hmmm...well, those autographed books were pretty popular.
The winner recieves the book of their choice from my backlist.
So, put on your thinking caps and make a list! I can't wait to read them!
Here's my new one:
Make a list of the top ten things you're thankful for right here in the comment section of this post.
On Thanksgiving Day, I'll have my family read them all and select the one they like the best.
Sound fun? I think so.
What to win, what to win...hmmm...well, those autographed books were pretty popular.
The winner recieves the book of their choice from my backlist.
So, put on your thinking caps and make a list! I can't wait to read them!
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
Listen to me stutter
Click on the 10/31 archive to hear Laura Mills Alcott interview me on Voice America.
http://www.laurasmuchadoaboutbooks.net/archives2.htm
http://www.laurasmuchadoaboutbooks.net/archives2.htm
WINNER OF OCTOBER CONTEST!
Thanks to all of you who made my October blogging so much fun! I hope you'll continue to come back to read and chat.
What can I say? One of anything is never enough for me. So I drew THREE names from the fish bowl!!
You're all winners, but those who get their choice of an autographed book from my backlist are:
Jennifer Yates
Missy W
Meljprincess
Please post me at SaintJohn@aol.com and let me know your address and which book you'd like to have me sign and send to you. If you need to see my backlist of books to choose one, go to:
http://www.tlt.com/authors/cstjohn.htm
(The only book I don't have copies of is Christmas Gold.)
Thanks again and come back real soon!
What can I say? One of anything is never enough for me. So I drew THREE names from the fish bowl!!
You're all winners, but those who get their choice of an autographed book from my backlist are:
Jennifer Yates
Missy W
Meljprincess
Please post me at SaintJohn@aol.com and let me know your address and which book you'd like to have me sign and send to you. If you need to see my backlist of books to choose one, go to:
http://www.tlt.com/authors/cstjohn.htm
(The only book I don't have copies of is Christmas Gold.)
Thanks again and come back real soon!
Friday, October 28, 2005
Potty Talk: another pet peeve
One thing is for sure: Women's restrooms were designed by men.
And probably not by normal-sized adults for that matter. I'm certain that there are engineering planning committees made up of male dwarves. If public restrooms are designed by full-sized adults, then they are warped individuals who take glee in maniacally placing stools and doors and tissue dispensers so that women who are not limber or three feet tall can't possibly use the facility without being contortionists.
Today I attended a planning meeting for our local writers group and we held it at a nearby restaurant for lunch. My friend, Chris and I used the restroom afterward, commenting as soon as we opened the stall doors that this was going to be interesting. I'm not a tiny person, but I'm not that big either. I can't help but wonder how on earth an overweight person maneuvers one of those stalls without wetting her pants.
I managed to hang my purse on the back of the door by standing beside the stool, and then in a movement not unlike something you might have seen Jim Carey perform, I managed to lower my jeans and, leaning back, sidle to the right so I could perch.
Meanwhile, Chris, who IS a small--ish person--is lamenting from the stall beside me that she has her head cocked sideways so she can sit down without knocking herself out on the door.
BY this time I'm looking for one of those alarm buttons like you see in hospital bathrooms. Push it and someone comes in with a jar of petroleum jelly to get you back out of the stall. Or looking for--at the least--a hidden camera, because surely this is Candid Camera. I quickly check to make sure I have on a good pair of underwear.
At least this particular restroom wasn't one of those where the toilet tissue holders were installed on the wall beside you at about mid-calf, so that when you need to roll off some tissue, you have to stand on your head. And then, you get two one-ply sheets because the paper-miser feature prevents the roll from actually rolling. Back to the head-stand.
I mean seriously, people, could the architects please figure in a few more feet in their designs? Realistically, Americans are getting larger every year.
And bathrooms ain't.
And probably not by normal-sized adults for that matter. I'm certain that there are engineering planning committees made up of male dwarves. If public restrooms are designed by full-sized adults, then they are warped individuals who take glee in maniacally placing stools and doors and tissue dispensers so that women who are not limber or three feet tall can't possibly use the facility without being contortionists.
Today I attended a planning meeting for our local writers group and we held it at a nearby restaurant for lunch. My friend, Chris and I used the restroom afterward, commenting as soon as we opened the stall doors that this was going to be interesting. I'm not a tiny person, but I'm not that big either. I can't help but wonder how on earth an overweight person maneuvers one of those stalls without wetting her pants.
I managed to hang my purse on the back of the door by standing beside the stool, and then in a movement not unlike something you might have seen Jim Carey perform, I managed to lower my jeans and, leaning back, sidle to the right so I could perch.
Meanwhile, Chris, who IS a small--ish person--is lamenting from the stall beside me that she has her head cocked sideways so she can sit down without knocking herself out on the door.
BY this time I'm looking for one of those alarm buttons like you see in hospital bathrooms. Push it and someone comes in with a jar of petroleum jelly to get you back out of the stall. Or looking for--at the least--a hidden camera, because surely this is Candid Camera. I quickly check to make sure I have on a good pair of underwear.
At least this particular restroom wasn't one of those where the toilet tissue holders were installed on the wall beside you at about mid-calf, so that when you need to roll off some tissue, you have to stand on your head. And then, you get two one-ply sheets because the paper-miser feature prevents the roll from actually rolling. Back to the head-stand.
I mean seriously, people, could the architects please figure in a few more feet in their designs? Realistically, Americans are getting larger every year.
And bathrooms ain't.
The Most Recent Montana Mavericks
The most recent Montana Mavericks series is called Gold Rush Grooms. Here's the list:
STRANDED WITH THE GROOM, Christine Rimmer, SSE 1657
ALL HE EVER WANTED, Allison Leigh, SSE 1664
PRESCRIPTION LOVE, Pamela Toth, SSE 1669
THEIR UNEXPECTED FAMILY, Judy Duarte, SSE 1676
CABIN FEVER, Karen Rose Smith, SSE 1682
MILLION-DOLLAR MAKEOVER, Cheryl St.John, SSE 1688
THE GUARDIAN, Elizabeth Lane, Harlequin Historical 9/05
THE TRACKER, Mary Burton, Harlequin Historical 9/05
BIG SKY RANCHER, Carolyn Davidson, Harlequin Historical 9/05
THE BOUNTY HUNTER, Cheryl St.John, Harlequin Historical 9/05
If you want a complete list of all the Montana Mavericks, going back to the very first one, the list is posted on my website at: http://www.tlt.com/authors/cstjohn.htm
STRANDED WITH THE GROOM, Christine Rimmer, SSE 1657
ALL HE EVER WANTED, Allison Leigh, SSE 1664
PRESCRIPTION LOVE, Pamela Toth, SSE 1669
THEIR UNEXPECTED FAMILY, Judy Duarte, SSE 1676
CABIN FEVER, Karen Rose Smith, SSE 1682
MILLION-DOLLAR MAKEOVER, Cheryl St.John, SSE 1688
THE GUARDIAN, Elizabeth Lane, Harlequin Historical 9/05
THE TRACKER, Mary Burton, Harlequin Historical 9/05
BIG SKY RANCHER, Carolyn Davidson, Harlequin Historical 9/05
THE BOUNTY HUNTER, Cheryl St.John, Harlequin Historical 9/05
If you want a complete list of all the Montana Mavericks, going back to the very first one, the list is posted on my website at: http://www.tlt.com/authors/cstjohn.htm
Thursday, October 27, 2005
Alan Jackson's reply in a song
http://www.hit-country-music-lyrics.com/Alan-Jackson-Talking-Song-Repair-Blues-Lyrics.html
I got this link to Alan Jackson's song from another author. Apparently singers and songwriters get asked questions similar to the things we discussed a few days ago. If you haven't already heard this, you'll get a good laugh.
I got this link to Alan Jackson's song from another author. Apparently singers and songwriters get asked questions similar to the things we discussed a few days ago. If you haven't already heard this, you'll get a good laugh.
I like to share free stuff
Sign up to receive a free sample of Post-It's new Sticky Picture Paper:
http://3m.dll1.com/stickypicture/reg_nonperks.asp
http://3m.dll1.com/stickypicture/reg_nonperks.asp
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Things People Say To Fiction Authors
"You have to write the story of my life! It would make a great book!"
Seriously. I don't write non-fiction, so it's not likely I'd write someone's life story. (Besides, I don't think I want to know you that well.)
"You have to write about my experiences at work/in the Army/in college/in Pick-A-State."
It's true that life is stranger than fiction, but a story requires a plot, with conflict, great characterization, and it's put together and twisted and shaped into a finished product. Stories about life experiences are biographies or non-fiction.
"I've always had this great idea for a book. I can give it to you and you can write it."
If you're so excited about it, you write it. We can't expect another person to be as excited about our ideas as we are. And -- I have plenty of ideas of my own. Time and marketability are the issue.
Seriously. I don't write non-fiction, so it's not likely I'd write someone's life story. (Besides, I don't think I want to know you that well.)
"You have to write about my experiences at work/in the Army/in college/in Pick-A-State."
It's true that life is stranger than fiction, but a story requires a plot, with conflict, great characterization, and it's put together and twisted and shaped into a finished product. Stories about life experiences are biographies or non-fiction.
"I've always had this great idea for a book. I can give it to you and you can write it."
If you're so excited about it, you write it. We can't expect another person to be as excited about our ideas as we are. And -- I have plenty of ideas of my own. Time and marketability are the issue.
Monday, October 24, 2005
Top Ten Pet Peeves in Romance Novels
In no particular order these things irritate me:
1 - The heroine has tiny feet.
How many people actually think of their own feet as "tiny?"
2 - The heroine falls asleep thinking about what's going to happen.
Yawn.
3 - The heroine has "small perfect" teeth.
4 - Jumping in and out of heads/point of view.
Do readers notice or care when we even know what the cab driver's thinking?
5 - A couple jumping into bed before I care about them - or before they care about each other. Yawn.
6 - The ending feels rushed, as though the author only had so many pages to resolve everything in.
7 - A story that starts out with so much backstory that I feel as though I've missed the previous book.
8 - Heroines who giggle.
9 - Heroines who only need a shower and a little lip gloss to look like JLo. Yeah, right.
10 - Hero's with bad attitudes and nobody ever calls them on it.
How about you?
1 - The heroine has tiny feet.
How many people actually think of their own feet as "tiny?"
2 - The heroine falls asleep thinking about what's going to happen.
Yawn.
3 - The heroine has "small perfect" teeth.
4 - Jumping in and out of heads/point of view.
Do readers notice or care when we even know what the cab driver's thinking?
5 - A couple jumping into bed before I care about them - or before they care about each other. Yawn.
6 - The ending feels rushed, as though the author only had so many pages to resolve everything in.
7 - A story that starts out with so much backstory that I feel as though I've missed the previous book.
8 - Heroines who giggle.
9 - Heroines who only need a shower and a little lip gloss to look like JLo. Yeah, right.
10 - Hero's with bad attitudes and nobody ever calls them on it.
How about you?
Sunday, October 23, 2005
My Favorite Places
I love lists! Can you tell? LOL
These are some of the places I love to go, in no particular order:
1 - garage sales, ideally all in one awesome area and all with incredible stuff at really low prices
2 - flea markets
3 - salad bars
4 - drives in the country in the autumn
5 - viewing model homes
6 - historic homes
7 - any place on a vacation trip with no rigid schedule
8 - movies
9 - family dinners
10 - kids' Christmas programs
These are some of the places I love to go, in no particular order:
1 - garage sales, ideally all in one awesome area and all with incredible stuff at really low prices
2 - flea markets
3 - salad bars
4 - drives in the country in the autumn
5 - viewing model homes
6 - historic homes
7 - any place on a vacation trip with no rigid schedule
8 - movies
9 - family dinners
10 - kids' Christmas programs
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)