Thanksgiving Winner!

My family thoroughly enjoyed the lists of things you're thankful for, and on the holiday, they had the tough job of selecting a winner. Their favorite list was Missy W's. Missy, post me with your address and your book will be on its way!

Hope everyone had a wonderful holiday. Can't believe we're on the slide into Christmas now. Don't tell me how many shopping days left. LOL

How many shopping days 'til Christmas?

Buying gifts for men is not nearly as complicated as it is for women.
Follow these rules and you should have no problems.

Rule #1: When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he already has one. I have a friend who owns 17 and he has yet to complain. As a man, you can really never have too many cordless drills. No one knows why.

Rule #2: If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with the word ratchet or socket in it. Men love saying those two words. "Hey George, can I borrow your ratchet?" "OK. By-the-way, are you through with my 3/8-inch socket yet?" Again, no one knows why.

Rule #3: If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his car. A 99- cent ice scraper, a small bottle of deicer or something to hang from his rear view mirror. Men love gifts for their cars. No one knows why.

Rule #4: Do not buy men socks. Do not buy men ties. And never buy men bathrobes. I was told that if God had wanted men to wear bathrobes, he wouldn't have invented Jockey shorts.

Rule #5: You can buy men new remote controls to replace the ones they have worn out. If you have a lot of money buy your man a big-screen TV with the little picture in the corner. Watch him go wild as he flips, and flips, and flips.

Rule #7: Do not buy any man industrial-sized canisters of after shave or deodorant. I'm told they do not stink - they are earthy.

Rule #8: Buy men label makers. Almost as good as cordless drills. Within a couple of weeks there will be labels absolutely everywhere. "Socks. Shorts. Cups. Saucers. Door. Lock. Sink." You get the idea. No one knows why.

Rule #9: Never buy a man anything that says "some assembly required" on the box. It will ruin his day and he will always have parts left over.

Rule #10: Good places to shop for men include Northwest Iron Works, Parr Lumber, Home Depot, John Deere, Valley RV Center, and Les Schwab Tire. NAPA Auto Parts and Sears Clearance Centers are also excellent men's stores. It doesn't matter if he doesn't know what it is. "From NAPA Auto, eh? Must be something I need. Hey! Isn't this a starter for a '68 Ford Fairlane? Wow! Thanks."

Rule #11: Men enjoy danger. That's why they never cook - but they will barbecue. Get him a monster barbecue with a 100-pound propane tank. Tell him the gas line leaks. "Oh the thrill! The challenge! Who wants a hamburger?"

Rule #12: Tickets to a football game are a smart gift. However, he will not appreciate tickets to "A Retrospective of 19th Century Quilts." Everyone knows why.

Rule #13: Men love chainsaws. Never, ever, buy a man you love a chainsaw. If you don't know why - please refer to Rule #8 and what happens when he gets a label-maker.

Rule #14: It's hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminum extension ladder. Never buy a real man a step ladder. It must be an extension ladder. No one knows why.

Rule #15: Rope. Men love rope. It takes them back to our cowboy origins, or at least The Boy Scouts. Nothing says love like a hundred feet of 3/8" manila rope.

Do not use the words "gift" and "major appliance" in the same breath!

What is it with men and appliances? Anything with a cord, they come unglued over. Men are thrilled with power tools under the Christmas tree. Am I right?

Boring.

It's been the rule in our house since the dawn of time that anything that plugs in is NOT A GIFT! I repeat not a gift. If it plugs in, it means work, not pleasure. (There are a few exceptions, in the form of stereos, computers or special requests.) So when my husband mentioned the other day that I might want to start thinking about one big thing we could buy for Christmas, my mind had a happy dance. I know I'm not the only woman in the world who adores gifts. I love presents! Love to give them, love to get them. I sort of felt him out with a couple of suggestions.

Then he told me he'd been thinking along the lines of a stove.

Excuse me? A major appliance is not a Christmas gift. Not in any way, shape or form. Did he change into Tim Allen when I wasn't looking? Do I suddenly look like a woman who'd rather cook than say, wear a diamond bracelet, hmm? What was he thinking?

So tell me: What's your opinion on "presents" that plug in?

NEW CONTEST FOR NOVEMBER!

I love contests as much as I love lists! LOL

Here's my new one:
Make a list of the top ten things you're thankful for right here in the comment section of this post.
On Thanksgiving Day, I'll have my family read them all and select the one they like the best.
Sound fun? I think so.

What to win, what to win...hmmm...well, those autographed books were pretty popular.
The winner recieves the book of their choice from my backlist.

So, put on your thinking caps and make a list! I can't wait to read them!

Listen to me stutter

Click on the 10/31 archive to hear Laura Mills Alcott interview me on Voice America.

http://www.laurasmuchadoaboutbooks.net/archives2.htm

WINNER OF OCTOBER CONTEST!

Thanks to all of you who made my October blogging so much fun! I hope you'll continue to come back to read and chat.

What can I say? One of anything is never enough for me. So I drew THREE names from the fish bowl!!

You're all winners, but those who get their choice of an autographed book from my backlist are:

Jennifer Yates
Missy W
Meljprincess

Please post me at SaintJohn@aol.com and let me know your address and which book you'd like to have me sign and send to you. If you need to see my backlist of books to choose one, go to:
http://www.tlt.com/authors/cstjohn.htm

(The only book I don't have copies of is Christmas Gold.)

Thanks again and come back real soon!

Potty Talk: another pet peeve

One thing is for sure: Women's restrooms were designed by men.

And probably not by normal-sized adults for that matter. I'm certain that there are engineering planning committees made up of male dwarves. If public restrooms are designed by full-sized adults, then they are warped individuals who take glee in maniacally placing stools and doors and tissue dispensers so that women who are not limber or three feet tall can't possibly use the facility without being contortionists.

Today I attended a planning meeting for our local writers group and we held it at a nearby restaurant for lunch. My friend, Chris and I used the restroom afterward, commenting as soon as we opened the stall doors that this was going to be interesting. I'm not a tiny person, but I'm not that big either. I can't help but wonder how on earth an overweight person maneuvers one of those stalls without wetting her pants.

I managed to hang my purse on the back of the door by standing beside the stool, and then in a movement not unlike something you might have seen Jim Carey perform, I managed to lower my jeans and, leaning back, sidle to the right so I could perch.

Meanwhile, Chris, who IS a small--ish person--is lamenting from the stall beside me that she has her head cocked sideways so she can sit down without knocking herself out on the door.

BY this time I'm looking for one of those alarm buttons like you see in hospital bathrooms. Push it and someone comes in with a jar of petroleum jelly to get you back out of the stall. Or looking for--at the least--a hidden camera, because surely this is Candid Camera. I quickly check to make sure I have on a good pair of underwear.

At least this particular restroom wasn't one of those where the toilet tissue holders were installed on the wall beside you at about mid-calf, so that when you need to roll off some tissue, you have to stand on your head. And then, you get two one-ply sheets because the paper-miser feature prevents the roll from actually rolling. Back to the head-stand.

I mean seriously, people, could the architects please figure in a few more feet in their designs? Realistically, Americans are getting larger every year.

And bathrooms ain't.

The Most Recent Montana Mavericks

The most recent Montana Mavericks series is called Gold Rush Grooms. Here's the list:

STRANDED WITH THE GROOM, Christine Rimmer, SSE 1657
ALL HE EVER WANTED, Allison Leigh, SSE 1664
PRESCRIPTION LOVE, Pamela Toth, SSE 1669
THEIR UNEXPECTED FAMILY, Judy Duarte, SSE 1676
CABIN FEVER, Karen Rose Smith, SSE 1682
MILLION-DOLLAR MAKEOVER, Cheryl St.John, SSE 1688
THE GUARDIAN, Elizabeth Lane, Harlequin Historical 9/05
THE TRACKER, Mary Burton, Harlequin Historical 9/05
BIG SKY RANCHER, Carolyn Davidson, Harlequin Historical 9/05
THE BOUNTY HUNTER, Cheryl St.John, Harlequin Historical 9/05

If you want a complete list of all the Montana Mavericks, going back to the very first one, the list is posted on my website at: http://www.tlt.com/authors/cstjohn.htm

Alan Jackson's reply in a song

http://www.hit-country-music-lyrics.com/Alan-Jackson-Talking-Song-Repair-Blues-Lyrics.html

I got this link to Alan Jackson's song from another author. Apparently singers and songwriters get asked questions similar to the things we discussed a few days ago. If you haven't already heard this, you'll get a good laugh.

I like to share free stuff

Sign up to receive a free sample of Post-It's new Sticky Picture Paper:

http://3m.dll1.com/stickypicture/reg_nonperks.asp

Things People Say To Fiction Authors

"You have to write the story of my life! It would make a great book!"

Seriously. I don't write non-fiction, so it's not likely I'd write someone's life story. (Besides, I don't think I want to know you that well.)


"You have to write about my experiences at work/in the Army/in college/in Pick-A-State."

It's true that life is stranger than fiction, but a story requires a plot, with conflict, great characterization, and it's put together and twisted and shaped into a finished product. Stories about life experiences are biographies or non-fiction.

"I've always had this great idea for a book. I can give it to you and you can write it."

If you're so excited about it, you write it. We can't expect another person to be as excited about our ideas as we are. And -- I have plenty of ideas of my own. Time and marketability are the issue.

Top Ten Pet Peeves in Romance Novels

In no particular order these things irritate me:

1 - The heroine has tiny feet.
How many people actually think of their own feet as "tiny?"

2 - The heroine falls asleep thinking about what's going to happen.
Yawn.

3 - The heroine has "small perfect" teeth.

4 - Jumping in and out of heads/point of view.
Do readers notice or care when we even know what the cab driver's thinking?

5 - A couple jumping into bed before I care about them - or before they care about each other. Yawn.

6 - The ending feels rushed, as though the author only had so many pages to resolve everything in.

7 - A story that starts out with so much backstory that I feel as though I've missed the previous book.

8 - Heroines who giggle.

9 - Heroines who only need a shower and a little lip gloss to look like JLo. Yeah, right.

10 - Hero's with bad attitudes and nobody ever calls them on it.

How about you?

My Favorite Places

I love lists! Can you tell? LOL

These are some of the places I love to go, in no particular order:

1 - garage sales, ideally all in one awesome area and all with incredible stuff at really low prices

2 - flea markets

3 - salad bars

4 - drives in the country in the autumn

5 - viewing model homes

6 - historic homes

7 - any place on a vacation trip with no rigid schedule

8 - movies

9 - family dinners

10 - kids' Christmas programs

AND YOU THINK GAS PRICES ARE HIGH:

From Harrison House Publishing Co.:

Diet Snapple, 16 oz. $1.29 =$10.32 per Gal.
Lipton Ice Tea, 16 oz. $1.19 = 9.52 per Gal.
Gatorade 20 oz. 1.59 = $10.17 per Gal.
Ocean Spray juice 16 oz. $1.25 - 10.00 per Gal.
Qt. or milk 16 oz. $1.59 = $ 6.32 per Gal.
Evian Water 9 oz. $1.49 = $21.29 per Gal.
STP Brake Fluid 12 oz. $3.15 = $33.60 per Gal
Vicks Nyquil 6 oz. $8.35 = $178.13 per Gal.
Pepto Bismol 4 oz. $3.85 = $123.20 per Gal.
Whiteout 7 oz. $1.39 = $254.17 per gal.
Scope 1.5 oz. $0.99 = $84.84 per gal.

More on Story Ideas

Having been asked to write more about how I come up with stories got me thinking. I've never found that warehouse outside Tulsa, so I do most of the dirty work on my own. LOL Actually, the ideas are the fun part, the part that never runs out. Carrying out the work is the hard part. There are a lot of people who call themselves writers and who come up with ideas, but there are far fewer who actually do the work and get it all in publishable story form on paper.

Ideas come from anywhere. TV shows, the newspaper, songs, other books.

Which books haven't I mentioned? Georgia wanted to hear more details and Malvina said her favorite book is The Doctor’s Wife, so: The Doctor's Wife came from watching a talk show where the female guest told her story. She came from the "trash family" in a little town. I felt so sorry for her and her story was so sad that I sat and cried. Often when I'm moved by someone’s real life story, I want to write one that turns out better. It’s like I can fix the world one book at a time or something. The real person in this case was ridiculed and teased by the other children. Her family was so poor that she wore her brother’s underwear. Her mother gave birth to more than one baby and made the daughter go bury them. One particular time, she secretly gave the baby away. This was one of those reunion shows, and they brought out the sister whose life she saved so many years ago and they were reunited with hugs and tears. Bizarre story, eh? Once again truth is stranger than fiction. Well I changed all that and had the baby be my heroine’s and had her hide it to keep it safe. But that’s where the idea was conceived.

Most recently I got an idea for a story from a dateline news show about child victims/child heroes, and it featured Elizabeth Smart among others. One of the stories really impressed me, so I came up with my own situation. I asked myself what becomes of a child like this when they grow up? How do they cope with this stuff? The story evolved from there and it's under consideration for publication right now. It just feels like a BIG story to me. I’m excited about where it’s going.

Desperate Author Syndrome

Sometimes it's pretty intimidating trying to be fresh and brilliant day after day. Writers have to "perform" on command, even on bad days, even when they'd rather be doing anything else. Sometimes there just isn't enough chocolate in the world to keep me seated in this chair. And then I remind myself what my wonderful critique partner told me. I don't have to be brilliant or better than anyone else. I just have to do what I do. I just have to be me. And I ain't always brilliant.

Who reads romance?

From a past survey:

* average age of Harlequin/Silhouette readers: 41.1, compared
to the median age of the total population of U.S. women, 40.

* current household income of readers: $36,000 (U.S),
compared to the U.S. average of #32,264.

* 60% of current readers are employed outside of home.

* readers’ favorite magazines: Good Housekeeping, Reader’s
Digest, People, Woman’s Day and Redbook.

* readers enjoy a variety of music: Country & western is by far
the most popular choice, followed by Golden Oldies, Easy
Listening/Classical, Rock and Jazz.

* readers love crafts: painting, cross-stitching, sewing,
crocheting and knitting were the top choices.

I just read........

I just finished AIN'T SHE SWEET. Once again Susan Elizabeth Phillips blows me away with her vivid characters and storytelling. I always start out thinking, "How am I going to like this person" -- "Is this really the heroine/hero?" and then end up loving them.

**why do I write romance?**

I write romance for the same reason I’ve read romance for years: I love the genre. I love losing myself in the challenges and trials of two characters who are destined to be together.
I guess I want to believe that there’s somebody for everyone, and that under just the right circumstances and with a bit of that magic we call romance, happily-ever-afters are within our reach.
Before you scoff and call me a Pollyanna, I assure you I’m enough in tune with reality to lock my doors and warn my children of strangers. I watch the news and I see the state of our world. But what do we have if we don’t have hope?
Romance is all about hope.
After my fourth book, Saint or Sinner, was released, I received the most memorable letter I’ve ever received from a reader. She told me how much she’d enjoyed my book, how she identified with the characters and how she’d cried for the heroine. Like the character in my story, she’d been stalked and beaten by someone who should have loved her. Unlike my character however, the reader has permanent nerve damage to her arm. Her story touched me so deeply that it brought tears to my eyes and gave me pause to think over what I was doing.
I sat at my desk thinking how shallow my work is. I make all this stuff up! I order peoples’ lives about and manipulate them to suit my plots, but it’s all fiction.
While I sit in my lovely office, sipping cup after cup of coffee and munching M&Ms, and blissfully typing away, out there in the world people are experiencing devastating hurts and losses and traumas.
That thinking lasted about ten minutes. And then I realized why this young woman had been touched so profoundly by my story. She said she hoped that some day she would meet a man like Joshua, a man who would love her. She had hope.
Romance is about hope.
We invest our time in the characters in these stories because we know that no matter what dilemmas befall them, no matter what obstacles they face or which conflicts arise, in the end, love will conquer all; good will win over evil; and a happily-ever-after will prevail.
Each of us hopes there is that special someone out there, the man or woman who will love us and fill that place created in our heart just for them. Romance brings that hope to life, and through the stories of love and commitment, we experience the fulfillment of the human dream.

WHERE DO I GET MY IDEAS?

I always find this one of the silliest questions I’ve ever heard, and reply with a quip—that people take seriously!

“I subscribe to Idea Monthly.” They say, “Oh.”
“I close myself in a dark closet, chant a mantra,
and don’t come out until a complete story has come to me.” Oh.
“I remember everything everyone tells me and I use it.” Oh.
“Little green men come to me and night and whisper plots
in my ear.” Oh.

Seriously, I have to wonder whether or not the people who ask that question have never had an original idea enter their heads? Writers get their ideas just like everyone else does. Ideas just come to you. As a writer, you learn to brainstorm and embellish on the original idea until it’s plausible.
Many of my ideas come from hearing a song, watching a movie, reading a book, or from my research. Something will catch my attention, and I’ll think “what if”? Then I play with the notion until I turn it into a story.
From the original concept, I develop the characters first. Exactly what kind of person will fit this role or this scene or this setting? Then I create the other lead character with built in conflict and an opposing goal.

-- Heaven Can Wait originated as taking a girl who knew nothing of the outside world from a sequestered environment and flinging her into a completely alien culture. That theme still fascinates me, and I have more ideas for others.

-- Rain Shadow developed from the desire to do a sequel to Heaven Can Wait, using Anton as the hero, and needing an exact opposite to pair him with. Thus the gun-toting Wild West character of Rain Shadow developed.

-- Land of Dreams came from my fascination with and empathy for the children who rode the orphan trains, and, as a result of the many diaries I’d read. So many of the children suffered in their new environments nearly as much as they had on the streets of New York, often being sexually abused or used as servants, and many thinking they’d been adopted into families, only to find out years later that they hadn’t. I wanted to give some of those kids a good home. And Too Tall Thea was a character burning for a story and someone to love her.

-- Saint or Sinner sprang from my passion for watching late night westerns. There’s an old black and white flick with Joanne Woodward where this guy comes back from the war and builds a church. She’s just a kid he tries to reform, but I thought…what if this fellow had a life after death experience and came back a changed man…and there was a woman who didn’t believe he’d changed?

-- Badlands Bride actually started out as a title I’d saved for years. The idea of having an unprepared reporter go west disguised as a mail-order bride popped into my head, and I decided to send her to the badlands and use that title. I love the underdog characters, you may have noticed. She's desperate for her father's approvel.

-- A Husband By Any Other Name came from the Bible story of the prodigal son. One son runs away, squanders his inheritance and comes back to his father’s welcoming arms. The brother who stayed home and worked doesn’t think that’s too fair, even though he surely loved his brother. Seeing the father plan a feast and roast the fatted calf irks him. I further complicated that story by having the brother who stays home marry the fiancee of the brother who went away. Did I mention he pretends to be the brother who went away?

-- The Truth About Toby. I’ve always been a bit fascinated with dream interpretations, I guess. I had originally titled the book Dream A Little Dream For Me, because the hero is helping the heroine with precognitive dreams. Austin came to me first, a reclusive, tortured hero who simply wants to forget the horrors of his past. And for him I created Shaine, the woman he can’t resist, who needs him to remember it all.

-- The Mistaken Widow is a historical version of the movie, “Mrs. Winterbourne, where Ricky Lake pretends to be Brenden Frasier’s sister-in-law. As soon as I saw the film, I started picturing it in a historical scenario. My story has a bit more twists and turns, however.

and on and on.....