FOR LEXOPHILES (LOVERS OF WORDS):
1. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
2. A will is a dead giveaway.
3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
4. A backward poet writes inverse.
5. In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
6. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
7. If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
8. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
9. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.
10. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
11. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
12. A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.
13. You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
14. Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under.
15. He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
16. A calendar's days are numbered.
17. A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.
18. A boiled egg is hard to beat.
19. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
20. A plateau is a high form of flattery.
21. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large.
22. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
23. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
24. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
25. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
26. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
27. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
28. Acupuncture: a jab well done.
29. Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.
*GROAN* And I do this for two reasons. One's for this post (LOL!) and the other's 'cause I'm very, very sick. My doctor thinks I have a bronchial infection. If I still have this nasty fever in a few days I'll be tested for pneumonia.
ReplyDeleteI hope I spelled everything correctly. HA. Off to bed...
Btw, "Charlie's Angel's" would be dandy.
Sending you virtual chicken soup, Mel!
ReplyDeleteLOL I love reading things like this. They are such fun!
ReplyDeleteFeel better, Mel! Big hugs!
The Doctor's Wife
As my husband says:
ReplyDeleteIt's deja vu all over again.
Land of Dreams
LOL!
ReplyDeleteFeel better Mel...I have a cold myself right now and don't feel so well.
Maureen: my dad says that all the time.
Land Of Dreams
My favorite is #23, followed by 10, 13 (food & $TOO TRUE!)& 6. Will copy it for my 82 yr old Dad to read at Tgiving; no computer to email. We used to groan at his sense of humor but now appreciate it- dry like this!!
ReplyDeleteDitto all the warm thoughts & hugs to Mel & Jennifer-- I'm finally on the road to recovery so can empathsize. Being sick is a drag.
GLAD we have each other to be concerned & lift us up.
guress you know Every Waking Moment is my choice but forgot to mention it last post. LOL
ReplyDeleteI think I saw that list in Lonely Planet's Speaking in Tongues branch at some point. I have some other fun lists about English language saved on my computer that I have seen in Speaking in Tongues.
ReplyDeleteLAND OF DREAMS or THE DOCTOR'S WIFE.
I went to look, Minna. Interesting site!
ReplyDeleteIsn't it? I also recommend Get Stuffed branch. I've always gotten help from both branches when I've had questions about language or cooking. And of course I occasionally visit Scandinavia branch, too. Oh, and check out also these threads:
ReplyDeleteFinno-Ugric thread:
http://thorntree.lonelyplanet.com/messagepost.cfm?postaction=reply&catid=47&threadid=594016&messid=4988843&STARTPAGE=1&parentid=0
Interesting travel books:
http://thorntree.lonelyplanet.com/messagepost.cfm?postaction=reply&catid=44&threadid=587006&messid=4925575&STARTPAGE=1&parentid=0
Idioms:
http://thorntree.lonelyplanet.com/messagepost.cfm?postaction=reply&catid=47&threadid=392046&messid=3252463&STARTPAGE=1&parentid=0
Japanese books:
http://thorntree.lonelyplanet.com/messagepost.cfm?postaction=reply&catid=19&threadid=478572&messid=3992885&STARTPAGE=1&parentid=0
I forgot one... Odd questions:
ReplyDeletehttp://thorntree.lonelyplanet.com/messagepost.cfm?postaction=reply&catid=40&threadid=577422&messid=4837620&STARTPAGE=1&parentid=0
Love it! Thanks for the cuckle!
ReplyDelete