My family thoroughly enjoyed the lists of things you're thankful for, and on the holiday, they had the tough job of selecting a winner. Their favorite list was Missy W's. Missy, post me with your address and your book will be on its way!
Hope everyone had a wonderful holiday. Can't believe we're on the slide into Christmas now. Don't tell me how many shopping days left. LOL
Monday, November 28, 2005
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
How many shopping days 'til Christmas?
Buying gifts for men is not nearly as complicated as it is for women.
Follow these rules and you should have no problems.
Rule #1: When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he already has one. I have a friend who owns 17 and he has yet to complain. As a man, you can really never have too many cordless drills. No one knows why.
Rule #2: If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with the word ratchet or socket in it. Men love saying those two words. "Hey George, can I borrow your ratchet?" "OK. By-the-way, are you through with my 3/8-inch socket yet?" Again, no one knows why.
Rule #3: If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his car. A 99- cent ice scraper, a small bottle of deicer or something to hang from his rear view mirror. Men love gifts for their cars. No one knows why.
Rule #4: Do not buy men socks. Do not buy men ties. And never buy men bathrobes. I was told that if God had wanted men to wear bathrobes, he wouldn't have invented Jockey shorts.
Rule #5: You can buy men new remote controls to replace the ones they have worn out. If you have a lot of money buy your man a big-screen TV with the little picture in the corner. Watch him go wild as he flips, and flips, and flips.
Rule #7: Do not buy any man industrial-sized canisters of after shave or deodorant. I'm told they do not stink - they are earthy.
Rule #8: Buy men label makers. Almost as good as cordless drills. Within a couple of weeks there will be labels absolutely everywhere. "Socks. Shorts. Cups. Saucers. Door. Lock. Sink." You get the idea. No one knows why.
Rule #9: Never buy a man anything that says "some assembly required" on the box. It will ruin his day and he will always have parts left over.
Rule #10: Good places to shop for men include Northwest Iron Works, Parr Lumber, Home Depot, John Deere, Valley RV Center, and Les Schwab Tire. NAPA Auto Parts and Sears Clearance Centers are also excellent men's stores. It doesn't matter if he doesn't know what it is. "From NAPA Auto, eh? Must be something I need. Hey! Isn't this a starter for a '68 Ford Fairlane? Wow! Thanks."
Rule #11: Men enjoy danger. That's why they never cook - but they will barbecue. Get him a monster barbecue with a 100-pound propane tank. Tell him the gas line leaks. "Oh the thrill! The challenge! Who wants a hamburger?"
Rule #12: Tickets to a football game are a smart gift. However, he will not appreciate tickets to "A Retrospective of 19th Century Quilts." Everyone knows why.
Rule #13: Men love chainsaws. Never, ever, buy a man you love a chainsaw. If you don't know why - please refer to Rule #8 and what happens when he gets a label-maker.
Rule #14: It's hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminum extension ladder. Never buy a real man a step ladder. It must be an extension ladder. No one knows why.
Rule #15: Rope. Men love rope. It takes them back to our cowboy origins, or at least The Boy Scouts. Nothing says love like a hundred feet of 3/8" manila rope.
Follow these rules and you should have no problems.
Rule #1: When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he already has one. I have a friend who owns 17 and he has yet to complain. As a man, you can really never have too many cordless drills. No one knows why.
Rule #2: If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with the word ratchet or socket in it. Men love saying those two words. "Hey George, can I borrow your ratchet?" "OK. By-the-way, are you through with my 3/8-inch socket yet?" Again, no one knows why.
Rule #3: If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his car. A 99- cent ice scraper, a small bottle of deicer or something to hang from his rear view mirror. Men love gifts for their cars. No one knows why.
Rule #4: Do not buy men socks. Do not buy men ties. And never buy men bathrobes. I was told that if God had wanted men to wear bathrobes, he wouldn't have invented Jockey shorts.
Rule #5: You can buy men new remote controls to replace the ones they have worn out. If you have a lot of money buy your man a big-screen TV with the little picture in the corner. Watch him go wild as he flips, and flips, and flips.
Rule #7: Do not buy any man industrial-sized canisters of after shave or deodorant. I'm told they do not stink - they are earthy.
Rule #8: Buy men label makers. Almost as good as cordless drills. Within a couple of weeks there will be labels absolutely everywhere. "Socks. Shorts. Cups. Saucers. Door. Lock. Sink." You get the idea. No one knows why.
Rule #9: Never buy a man anything that says "some assembly required" on the box. It will ruin his day and he will always have parts left over.
Rule #10: Good places to shop for men include Northwest Iron Works, Parr Lumber, Home Depot, John Deere, Valley RV Center, and Les Schwab Tire. NAPA Auto Parts and Sears Clearance Centers are also excellent men's stores. It doesn't matter if he doesn't know what it is. "From NAPA Auto, eh? Must be something I need. Hey! Isn't this a starter for a '68 Ford Fairlane? Wow! Thanks."
Rule #11: Men enjoy danger. That's why they never cook - but they will barbecue. Get him a monster barbecue with a 100-pound propane tank. Tell him the gas line leaks. "Oh the thrill! The challenge! Who wants a hamburger?"
Rule #12: Tickets to a football game are a smart gift. However, he will not appreciate tickets to "A Retrospective of 19th Century Quilts." Everyone knows why.
Rule #13: Men love chainsaws. Never, ever, buy a man you love a chainsaw. If you don't know why - please refer to Rule #8 and what happens when he gets a label-maker.
Rule #14: It's hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminum extension ladder. Never buy a real man a step ladder. It must be an extension ladder. No one knows why.
Rule #15: Rope. Men love rope. It takes them back to our cowboy origins, or at least The Boy Scouts. Nothing says love like a hundred feet of 3/8" manila rope.
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
Do not use the words "gift" and "major appliance" in the same breath!
What is it with men and appliances? Anything with a cord, they come unglued over. Men are thrilled with power tools under the Christmas tree. Am I right?
Boring.
It's been the rule in our house since the dawn of time that anything that plugs in is NOT A GIFT! I repeat not a gift. If it plugs in, it means work, not pleasure. (There are a few exceptions, in the form of stereos, computers or special requests.) So when my husband mentioned the other day that I might want to start thinking about one big thing we could buy for Christmas, my mind had a happy dance. I know I'm not the only woman in the world who adores gifts. I love presents! Love to give them, love to get them. I sort of felt him out with a couple of suggestions.
Then he told me he'd been thinking along the lines of a stove.
Excuse me? A major appliance is not a Christmas gift. Not in any way, shape or form. Did he change into Tim Allen when I wasn't looking? Do I suddenly look like a woman who'd rather cook than say, wear a diamond bracelet, hmm? What was he thinking?
So tell me: What's your opinion on "presents" that plug in?
Boring.
It's been the rule in our house since the dawn of time that anything that plugs in is NOT A GIFT! I repeat not a gift. If it plugs in, it means work, not pleasure. (There are a few exceptions, in the form of stereos, computers or special requests.) So when my husband mentioned the other day that I might want to start thinking about one big thing we could buy for Christmas, my mind had a happy dance. I know I'm not the only woman in the world who adores gifts. I love presents! Love to give them, love to get them. I sort of felt him out with a couple of suggestions.
Then he told me he'd been thinking along the lines of a stove.
Excuse me? A major appliance is not a Christmas gift. Not in any way, shape or form. Did he change into Tim Allen when I wasn't looking? Do I suddenly look like a woman who'd rather cook than say, wear a diamond bracelet, hmm? What was he thinking?
So tell me: What's your opinion on "presents" that plug in?
Thursday, November 03, 2005
NEW CONTEST FOR NOVEMBER!
I love contests as much as I love lists! LOL
Here's my new one:
Make a list of the top ten things you're thankful for right here in the comment section of this post.
On Thanksgiving Day, I'll have my family read them all and select the one they like the best.
Sound fun? I think so.
What to win, what to win...hmmm...well, those autographed books were pretty popular.
The winner recieves the book of their choice from my backlist.
So, put on your thinking caps and make a list! I can't wait to read them!
Here's my new one:
Make a list of the top ten things you're thankful for right here in the comment section of this post.
On Thanksgiving Day, I'll have my family read them all and select the one they like the best.
Sound fun? I think so.
What to win, what to win...hmmm...well, those autographed books were pretty popular.
The winner recieves the book of their choice from my backlist.
So, put on your thinking caps and make a list! I can't wait to read them!
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
Listen to me stutter
Click on the 10/31 archive to hear Laura Mills Alcott interview me on Voice America.
http://www.laurasmuchadoaboutbooks.net/archives2.htm
http://www.laurasmuchadoaboutbooks.net/archives2.htm
WINNER OF OCTOBER CONTEST!
Thanks to all of you who made my October blogging so much fun! I hope you'll continue to come back to read and chat.
What can I say? One of anything is never enough for me. So I drew THREE names from the fish bowl!!
You're all winners, but those who get their choice of an autographed book from my backlist are:
Jennifer Yates
Missy W
Meljprincess
Please post me at SaintJohn@aol.com and let me know your address and which book you'd like to have me sign and send to you. If you need to see my backlist of books to choose one, go to:
http://www.tlt.com/authors/cstjohn.htm
(The only book I don't have copies of is Christmas Gold.)
Thanks again and come back real soon!
What can I say? One of anything is never enough for me. So I drew THREE names from the fish bowl!!
You're all winners, but those who get their choice of an autographed book from my backlist are:
Jennifer Yates
Missy W
Meljprincess
Please post me at SaintJohn@aol.com and let me know your address and which book you'd like to have me sign and send to you. If you need to see my backlist of books to choose one, go to:
http://www.tlt.com/authors/cstjohn.htm
(The only book I don't have copies of is Christmas Gold.)
Thanks again and come back real soon!
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